Brandon Tallman

The first-ever winner of the PCW World Heavyweight Championship. Very polarizing. Biggest fucking jabroni to ever walk God's green urf.

World Heavyweight Champion
Yeah, so Brandon Tallman won the first ever PCW World Heavyweight Championship. It's been mostly forgotten. He was a lame duck champion and he's hung like a duck too. Quack quack, Brandon. I couldn't even tell you any important matches from his time as champion because he was, and still is, so unwatchable. You know how when you're driving and you see a car crash that so terrible that you can't look away? Well, Brandon is like that except you have full ability to look away. He's worse than a car crash where people died.

Rivalry with Joelberg
I think he had some sort of "rivalry' with another equally bad wrestler named Joe, but it was pretty bad. Joe was being pushed as some kind of mechanical human thing, I guess. At least that's what Jack Kirkpatrick kept calling him. "Oh shit, it's the Mechanical Joe!" or "Business is about to pick up because here up Joe Mechanized" I don't fucking know. I don't know if I'm correct, but I think Joe beat Brandon Tallman for the PCW World Heavyweight Championship. Since then, Brandon hasn't really done jackshit. He somehow keeps finding ways to make himself relevant, but nothing lasts. He's sort of like the PCW version of Umaga. Oh wow, he's so scary and you dont wanna face him in the ring, but he always loses and no one is scared of him. He's a fucking no body and that's why everyone chants "Fuck you Tallman! *clap clap clapclapclap* when he walks to the ring. Also he has HPV.

Rivalry with Matt Mills
PCW tried to save his lame duck career by putting him in the ring with a TRUE superstar, the amazingly talented Matt Mills. Matt did his best to make Tallman look good, but not even The Franchise was able to make the diarrhea shitball that is Brandon Tallman look like a competent human. For a long time, Matt beat Tallman around and made him look like a bitch. This all came to a head when Tallman and Matt had a brutal last man standing match or something, where Brandon fought like a cheating bitch. Both men were ruled unable to finish the match.

Injury
Brandon was sidelined after his brutal match with Matt Mills, but was sidelined longer than Matt Mills was. Because of this, Matt was declared the winner.

Return
He returned a loser.

Kimbo Slice
He fought and beat a dead black man. Woohoo. He has the same accomplishment as the bullet that killed Martin Luther King.

New-found momentum
His momentum comes in the form of PCW scraping the bottom of the barrel due to suspensions, injuries, and firings. Way to go, Brandon.

Sponsors
Brandon Tallman has many sponsors that he wears on his wrestling shorts, but they're all of Fleshjack, the rubber penis and anus makers. Brandon said of the sponsorship, "I only advertize products that I use. I mean, I'm not gay. Like...well...I'd probably give a guy a reach around, but he wouldn't put it in my ass, you know? Because that's gay."

Championships and accomplishments

 * Parkersburg Championship Wrestling
 * PCW World Tag Team Championship (1 time) - with Frenchie
 * PCW World Heavyweight Championship (1 time)